Friday, August 10, 2007

There's No Story, Really

Most people want to know the big engagement story. Well, there isn't really one.

This is how it all came down. (You'll have to ask Jim if he sees it differently.)

The week of June 17, I was Skyping with my friend Nozomi. (If you have friends who live far away and have computers, you need to learn about Skype! Go to It's free! You can instant message, voice chat, or even web cam.) Nozomi said, "You know I'm going back to Japan in March. You need to get married before I go back to Japan." (Jim and I had already discussed getting married sometime between Jan. and June, but not between Ash Wed. and Easter. I had also talked about wanting to go back to Japan for a couple of weeks in the spring myself.) Nozomi continued, "You should get married in January." I told her that I had also been thinking about that, but I told her that Jim and I hadn't talked time table for awhile. Nozomi said, "Then you should bring it up."
"I'm not going to bring it up!" I said. "He'll bring it up when he's ready."
So Friday, June 22 I go over to Jim's house. Not long after walking through the door, Jim said, "I've been thinking about time table. I think we should get married in January."
"Me too!" I laughed. "So does this make us 'officialized'?"
"Nah," said Jim, and went on to say why not. So we decided not to tell people.
So the next day my mother straight out asks, "So do you and Jim have a date yet?"
I couldn't lie. "Well, as of last night, we have a month. It's January. But don't tell people because we aren't 'officialized'."
We still weren't calling ourselves "officialized" when we went to New York, but as we met more and more of his relatives, it got tiring to explain the whole yes, we're getting married in January, but we aren't really engaged yet thing. So we stopped correcting people. In the car on the way home, I said that the whole official engagement thing was starting to feel very anticlimatic, BUT that didn't mean he still couldn't do something romantic at some point!! Then I found out all the people he had already told anyway. "I only told people who live out of state!!" I said. My poor mother had been sitting on this info. for awhile, and to my knowledge, my dad still hadn't been informed. In my mind, it was Jim's job to talk to my dad, although I was perfectly fine with us talking to him together. Well, that conversation never really happened either. We had already set up our first counseling appointment with Tim Havlicek by the time my dad heard it from us--not that my dad was in any way surprised.
So I don't know at what point we became "officialized," but it happened somewhere in there. The romantic proposal thing never happened. No, I don't have a ring, but that is MY choice. I boycott diamonds and don't really wear jewelry except my God ring, which has its own story.
I'm too cheap and pragmatic for jewelry! However, that does not mean that I'm not a romantic because I am. And I still think it would be nice to have some sort of creative celebration of the event!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations. I am so so happy for you. I NEED TO SEE PHOTOS! Congratulations. The very nonstory is indeed a story.
So glad to see what God has done in your life.

August 14, 2007 at 6:55 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Lavera-
Love the story! I love what God has been doing in your life. The non story is a great story. We want to see pictures!

August 15, 2007 at 12:40 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Lavera-
Your nonstory is a great story. I'm so glad for all that God has been doing in your life. We want to see pictures!

August 15, 2007 at 12:41 AM

Blogger Rev. Monroe said...

Okay, okay, Sue! I get the thing with the pictures. We still don't have any. I didn't finish the roll of film (and I only think we managed to get 3 on there anyway), and my friend Emily hasn't sent the ones she took yet! We want pictures too!

August 15, 2007 at 6:53 AM

Blogger Faith and Stan said...

Congratulations, LaVera! Great news! Yes, we want pictures, too! God is gracious, and we look forward to watching His work continue in your lives.

August 15, 2007 at 11:16 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, all I can say is it's about time!!! I'm still not sure what the big secret was and why it had to be unofficial in the first place. It is such a happy event and people want to share in your happiness with you. I'm glad it's now official! Congratulations!!
Love, Christine

August 16, 2007 at 6:34 AM

Blogger Rev. Monroe said...

It was only secret, Christine, because at least one of us was thinking that maybe at some point there would be a REAL proposal(whatever that is!), but it became a moot point after awhile. A mutual, logical decision, although not one made without some giddyness, can constitute as a real proposal, I suppose.

August 16, 2007 at 8:41 AM

Blogger Ronald Aaron Krueger said...

Congrats on your engagement. It is also good to see a new fellow blogger.

August 16, 2007 at 9:36 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pictures are a must.

So what will your wedding ring look like?


August 16, 2007 at 2:06 PM

Blogger Rev. Monroe said...

Hey Aaron,
I'm really bad about blogging, but I'll try to do better again. Once a week was too much for me, but I'll try to get back to once a month. We'll see...

August 16, 2007 at 3:06 PM

Blogger Rev. Monroe said...

Ah, the wedding ring...there's definitely a plan there, but I'll keep that secret for a little while longer, although some people know.

August 16, 2007 at 3:07 PM

Anonymous Nozomi said...

Yeah, glad it's official!!! I'm catching up on all my emails after being away for 2 weeks!! I'm soooo excited to have made it in your blog entry :)

Can't wait to talk to you about the dress too!!

August 20, 2007 at 4:16 PM

Blogger dave grosser said...

Yay! Congrats, LaV!

Hey, there's this awesome new technology called Digital Cameras. And this other new technology called Phones with Digital Cameras. You can take pictures, post them online and not wait to use up a roll of film!

OK, enough with the snarkiness (I actually don't have a phone with a camera, incidentally). So happy for you guys, thanks for filling us in!

Dave (and Emmylou)

August 23, 2007 at 1:13 PM

Blogger Rev. Monroe said...

Hey Dave and Emmylou!
Would you believe my prepaid cell phone in Japan was a camera phone?! I never knew how to get pictures off of it though. But camera phones here are so expensive and are way more complicated to use, even though my phone only had Japanese instructions!
Yes, I have a digital camera too, but we'd still need a 3rd party to take pictures of us.
Anyway, we'll have pictures at some point. Hopefully soon...

August 24, 2007 at 4:50 PM

Blogger Rev. Monroe said...

PS Dave, your blog is seriously cool. I think it's funny that you thought going only a couple of weeks without posting is a big deal! Ha! ha! I'm so bad at keeping mine going. I'll try to do better.

August 24, 2007 at 5:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I do agree with that question! What is a "real" proposal? My sister's was kind of like yours. They were talking about it one day and he never really asked her but they just knew. When Richard proposed it was just the two of us. Richard's sister was proposed to at Christmas in front of thw whole family. I guess you can take your pick as to how you define "real"! I'm very happy that you found someone worthy of you.

August 30, 2007 at 11:38 AM


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